コヴィー博士お別れ会 2012/8/8 19:00-20:30 目黒雅叙園

twitter情報でお別れ会があるのを知ったのが月曜日。 twitterは速報性という意味で有難い。
通常の勤務であればとてもこの時間帯に抜け出すのは無理だが、営業は夏休み週間。この日なら定時(19時)で帰れると、早速予定に入れました。
私も9日から夏休み。いろいろ片付けて、定時になると同時に丸の内の事務所を後にしました。山手線でぐるっと回って目黒駅。そこから下って雅叙園。
入口で係りの人にお別れ会の場所を教えていただき、、雅叙園は広い。
ようやく会場に到着しました。もう会は始まっています。30分以上遅れ。
入ると、人の入りは半分程度。でも私の後にも人が入ってきます。みななかなか仕事を抜け出せない。コヴィー博士を愛する人は皆忙しいのでしょう。重要事項を優先する、、とはいってもね。

追悼メッセージが読まれていました。
神田昌典氏、勝間和代氏、川西茂氏でした。MCの方、どなたかわかりませんが、その人の話からするとジェームス スキナー氏もメッセージを寄せていたようです。
続いて写真。コヴィー氏の子供時代、奥様と一緒に結婚50周年、コヴィー一族の集合写真、、。ほほえましい。

続いてコヴィー氏の成し遂げたことの紹介。
七つの習慣は3000万部44か国で読まれているそうです。20世紀もっとも影響力のある本の第一位だそうです。7つの習慣、第8の週間、第3の案はコヴィー三部大作と呼ばれているそうです。もちろん全部読んでいます。さらにファミリー向け等四つの本が出ています。
また、日本でも週刊ダイヤモンドで特集されたり、プレジデントで同い年七九歳のJALの稲盛会長と表紙を飾ったりしています。宝島社からはマンガ七つの習慣も出ています。
TIME誌では二五人のもっとも影響力のあるアメリカ人に選ばれています。
リーダーシップの権威、より良い人になるために。
世界中の国家元首と会談しています。

コヴィー博士は個人の偉大さには二つの側面があるといっています。
第一の偉大さは人格的な強さ。木で言えば根の部分に当たります。
第二の偉大さは地位、富、才能、評判、人気。木で言えば葉の部分です。
第二の偉大さは、第一の偉大さに基づくものでなければならないとコヴィー博士はいっています。

続いて紹介されたのは昨年、一昨年と来日した時のスライドです。7分間。
そして、結果的に、全世界で公の場での最後のセミナーとなった2011年東京でのセミナーの映像。20分間。コヴィー博士は多くのレジュメの中から、その日の直感で話を始めるのですが、なぜかこの日は、7つの習慣を選び、純粋に語っています。
<映像内容>第一の習慣 主体性を発揮する 自分の天気を持つ
ビクターフランクル 刺激と反応の間にスペースを持つ
看護師の例

最後に、もしこの場にコヴィー博士がいたら、ラストメッセージ 第8の習慣から
そして本当に最後に、コヴィー博士の書斎を整理していたらこんなメッセージが出てきたとご遺族から届いたものです。

Habit#9 Leave This Worrd,Better Than It Was,When You Get Here.

第9の習慣 生まれた時よりより良い世界にして、この世を去る

会場を去るときに、コヴィー博士が家族のためにしていたリングにちなんで、7つの習慣のメッセージが刻んであるリングをいただきました。(この写真は7つの習慣FBからです)
1から7までどれにしようか悩んだあげく、第5の習慣 理解してから理解される を選びました。第4の習慣WinWinもよかったのですが、今の自分には5だと思いました。後で気づいたのですが、ブログタイトルからすれば第7の習慣なわけですが、、。
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コヴィー博士のご冥福をお祈り申し上げます。
Dr.Stephen.R.Covey 1932-2012

1. 主体性を発揮する
2. 目的を持つ
3. 重要事項を優先する
4. Win-Winを考える
5. 理解してから理解される
6. 相乗効果を発揮する
7. 刃を研ぐ


Habit 1: Be Proactive

Being proactive is more than just taking action. In this first habit Stephen Covey tells us we are responsible for our reactions to people or events. We are Response-able and have Response-ability because we have the ability to consciously choose how we respond to any situation. Stephen Covey makes the point that humans can think things through and don't need to be caught up in simple stimulus-->response patterns like Pavlov's dogs. To be proactive is to choose your response rather than relying on instinctive reactions.

So, what's your Response-ability like? Stephen Covey introduces the story of Viktor Frankl to emphasise the point that we have the freedom to choose our response to whatever happens to us. Frankl was a psychiatrist and is well known for his theory of Logotherapy and publishing "Man's Search for Meaning". While enduring Nazi concentration camps Frankl realised that we can always choose our response, no matter what happens to us. "Man's Search for Meaning" is essential reading, by the way, and should be high on your list. It's an easy powerful read.

People who do not consider their reactions are reactive and often blame others or things outside of themselves for what happens. They don't take any responsibility. They'd say I failed the paper because the examiner doesn't like me. Proactive people take responsibility for their response, often looking for what they can learn from what happened. They might say I failed the paper...maybe I didn't spend enough time learning, or didn't plan my time. What can I do differently next time?.

To help you develop proactivity Stephen Covey introduces the concept of the Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence. He says proactive people focus their time and energy in the Circle of Influence where they work on things they can do something about. This is a powerful metaphor and I use it often in organizations involved with change. It's a tool that helps people identify what's important and what they can do to positively influence their future rather than feeling like a pawn on a chessboard.

Habit 2: Begin With The End In Mind

When I read The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People I was struck by the wonderful metaphors that Stephen Covey uses to help us understand the points he makes. For example, he talks about how easy it is to get caught up in the busy-ness of life, working hard to climb the ladder of success, only to discover that all this time the ladder has been leaning against the wrong wall. I find this a very simple and powerful image.

It's this metaphor that Stephen Covey uses to describe habit 2, Begin With The End In Mind. It's a simple idea really and is about making an effort to start with a clear understanding of your destination and where you are going. Making sure your ladder is up against the right wall before you start climbing.

This is essentially about planning so that we know where we are going all the time instead of being busy with day to day activities that actually take us nowhere. Taking the time to see the bigger picture, to plan where we are heading, leads to personal effectiveness.

"“Begin with the end in mind” is based on the principle that all things are created twice. There’s a mental or first creation, and a physical or second creation to all things.” Stephen Covey makes the point that everything is created twice, first in the mind and then in reality.

If you're building a house you plan every detail with architects drawings, builders and landscapers according to what you want to create. Only then does the physical work begin. "You work with ideas. You work with your mind until you get a clear image of what you want to build". Before you go on a holiday you've usually planned the trip very carefully before you set foot out of your front door. If you're giving a business presentation you write it out on paper or electronically before you give it.

The question of course is why don't we do this when it comes to our own lives? Life throws so many things at us that keep us so busy that often we have never thought about where we are heading and if what we are doing is taking us closer to, or further from our destination. Stephen Covey provides many effective ways to begin this level of planning in your personal life together with lots of examples. He also provides very useful suggestions for applying the ideas he has presented at the end of each 'habit' chapter.

Habit 3: Put First Things First

This is the last of the habits that deals with self awareness and "Private Victory". If Habit 2 is the first, or mental creation, then Habit 3 is the second creation, the physical creation. As we've just seen it's easy to spend a lot of our time doing stuff that just is not that important to meeting your intentions set up in Habit 2. Stephen Covey recommends that you do first things first. Identify what is important to do in order to keep you heading towards your destination, and then do them.
Ok, so how do you know what's important and what is not? It's about managing our time and what we do in that time. Now, I have always struggled with traditional time management ideas. I resist being told that I must manage my time better, or worse, being told how to manage my time. Stephen Covey has a 4-quadrant time management model that actually got me interested in thinking about how I manage my time.


Covey spends a lot of time working with this model and emphasising that we need to aim to spend our time in Quadrant II. This is where you deal with things that are important to your values and goals, but that are not urgent. "If we don't practice Habit 2, if we don't have a clear idea of what is important, of the results we desire in our lives, we are easily diverted into responding to the urgent". The urgent things are often those things that keep us away from focusing on what is important.

As with the other habits Stephen Covey provides lots of practical thoughts and examples to help you develop and practice Habit 3 including a useful template for a weekly worksheet (printed in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People) to help you focus your week on what is important to you.

Habit 4: Think Win/Win

Habit 4 is the first of the Habits dealing with what Covey calls interdependence - working effectively with other people. In describing each habit Stephen Covey shares powerful insights and "Think Win/Win" is no exception.

Stephen Covey makes the point that the habit of effective interpersonal leadership is Think Win/Win. This is the habit of always looking for a solution that benefits you AND the other person or group. What's fascinating is that the solution is usually unexpected. "Win/Win is a belief in the Third Alternative. It's not your way or my way; it's a better way, a higher way".

Most of us will say "yeah, yeah, we know this already. Win/Win's the way to go..." It's almost as if it's the socially acceptable attitude. But in reality people are likely to act in their own best interest and when we look we find a 'Win/Lose', 'Lose/Win', or just a plain 'Win' scenario playing out. After all, many of us are brought up to believe that winning is everything. I just have to watch the dad's on the side of their kids sports field to see this! So in reality this is a habit to be learned and practiced.

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

Stephen Covey believes this principle is the key to effective interpersonal communication. Seek first to understand, then to be understood. This habit is about communicating with others. It's about developing the habit of listening carefully and really understanding the other person BEFORE giving your thoughts.
This is not easy to learn to do. In my practice I've often heard people saying that no-one understands what they're really feeling. If you're a parent you might hear that from your teenage son or daughter (I do!). This is because it's usually so much easier, and often really inviting, to give your opinion or to give advice to someone in need. Couples in counselling are often spending more time trying to get their partner to understand their position than listening and understanding their partner's position.

I really enjoy the examples that Stephen Covey shares to demonstrate this habit, especially the conversations between a father and his teenage son. Listening to these on the CD version of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People really captures the humour that becomes apparant when we realise the ways we often "listen" and respond, even when we have good intentions.

So start practicing this right now. Have fun with it! In your next conversation with someone put your natural and automatic responses aside and focus on genuinely understanding them. Ask questions that invite more such as "Tell me more..." or "What happened next...?". Spend time with your children, your partner, your colleague, or even your boss, working to genuinely understand them before you respond. You'll find that when you 'seek first to understand' your response might be different to what you expect, and that you start finding the creative solutions and third alternatives described in habit 4.

Habit 6: Synergize

Dictionary definition: syn·er·gy [sin-er-jee]
1. The interaction of two or more agents or forces so that their combined effect is greater than the sum of their individual effects.
2. Cooperative interaction among groups, especially among the acquired subsidiaries or merged parts of a corporation, that creates an enhanced combined effect.

The word synergy comes from the Greek synergos meaning working together.

Stephen Covey says,“Synergy is everywhere in nature. If you plant two plants close together, the roots commingle and improve the quality of the soil so that both plants will grow better than if they were separated. If you put two pieces of wood together, they will hold much more than the total weight held by each separately. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. One plus one equals three or more.”

In Habit 6 Stephen Covey directs our attention to the power of effective relationships. As a result of the relationship that exists between people or groups the whole becomes greater than the sum of its parts. We can achieve so much more when we engage in effective relationships with others than if we acted alone.

Stephen Covey notes that synergy is difficult for many of us as independence is promoted as a strong value in the world today. Many people have been trained or have learned that other people can't be trusted. Achieving synergy requires high trust and high cooperation and can lead to better solutions than anyone thought of alone. You can get a sense of the way in which habits 4, 5, and 6 work together to discover the creative solutions and third alternatives. And synergy is possible when we have the support of all five previous habits.

If you are concerned about synergy because you know you don't trust people easily it's ok - go back to habit 1 and Be Proactive about your response to situations or other people. You don't have to get it all right first time. This is part of a life journey of learning and developing. You will get there if you are willing to spend the time and effort developing new habits.

Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw

Habit 7 is about looking after yourself. You are the greatest asset you have and we have to learn to take time to look after ourselves. Stephen Covey suggests we pay attention to four areas in our lives:

Physical: Exercise, Nutrition, Stress Management
Spiritual: Value Clarification and Committment, Study and Meditation
Mental: Reading, Visualizing, Planning, Writing
Social/Emotional: Service, Empathy, Synergy, Intrinsic Security.
When I work with someone who has experienced extreme stress to the point of 'breakdown' we often find that their lives have been narrowly focused on work and home. They go to work (often working overtime) and go home simply to eat and sleep so they can go to work again! Is this you? The most important thing you can start doing now is looking after yourself by focusing on the four areas above.

Stephen Covey tells the story of meeting someone who has been sawing down a tree for more than 5 hours. When you suggest that they take a break and sharpen their saw so the job might go faster they tell you they don't have time to sharpen the saw because they're too busy sawing!

It's so easy to get caught up in the demands of life, or even developing the Habits, that we forget ourselves. We can't do that. We have to be proactive and do this for ourselves. No-one else is going to do it for you. "We are the instruments of our own performance, and to be effective, we need to recognize the importance of taking time regularly to sharpen the saw in all four ways".

All four dimensions of renewal are thoroughly investigated and Stephen Covey ends this chapter with a discussion about the importance of renewal in our lives, and thinking of this as an upward spiral of growth, change, and continuous improvement.

Find out more about work life balance.

Stephen Covey provides a useful diagram in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People illustrating how the seven habits fit together. You can see the progression from Private Victory to Public Victory with Habit 7 circling all of them as Sharpening the Saw is essential for the health of all seven habits.

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フランクリンプランナーに挑戦中
2012年09月27日 20:08
コビー博士のお別れ会があったのですね…。
私自身、7つの習慣の本を読んでとても
影響を受けたので、ぜひ参加したかったです。

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